Meeting Roommates and Making Friends

In some cases, it can be a good thing if you and your roommate aren't much alike. A different perspective on things may be helpful. But it's probably wise not to expect that you'll be best friends with your roommate because it can set you up for disappointment. Katie came to college expecting to be best buddies with her roomies. But over time it felt like the two of them made her the third wheel. With a switch in roommates and a change in attitude about what to expect, she ended up having a blast.

Not everyone can switch roommates, though. That's why it helps to start with the idea that you'll respect your differences no matter what.

If you and your roomie don't get along, it can help to find someone you do feel understands you — which should be easy on a campus with plenty of people. Giving new students an opportunity to meet is one idea behind freshman orientation. And many schools have student organization nights where all of the campus clubs gather and promote their organizations, so you can meet people with the same interests as you. You'll also meet tons of people in class or in your dorm.

If you're really having roommate or friendship troubles, make a stop at the school counseling center. All universities have one, and first-year fears are something the counselors know well. The counselors will either talk to you one-on-one or if there is a peer group for students who are feeling like you, you can choose to join it. Talking to others who are in the same situation can be comforting. You can also talk to your RA about any adjustment or roommate problems.