What YOU Can Do

If you see bullying happen, then, as I explain in my book, you are a not-so-innocent bystander. Bystanders are so important and they have potential to make such a big difference!

Bullies like feeling popular and that they have the support of their friends and classmates in general. If you see someone bullied, you can help take that feeling of power away from the bully. How? The hardest thing to do is step in on the victim's behalf, especially when you are the only one standing up. It's a great thing to do, but here are some alternatives that also can be very helpful:

1. Talk to the victim afterward. Ask if the person is OK, tell them you think what happened was wrong, and offer to help them contact a grownup.
2. Use "group correction." This is when a bunch of people agree that they're going to stand up to a bully. You can just calmly tell the bully to stop and leave the person alone. This works best when students have been trained in how it works, which is why schools need to educate kids about this.
3. If you can't do 1 or 2, at least tell a grownup (teacher, coach, parent) about what you saw.

Adults really can actually help, even though I get it, we don't always want to admit this can be the case. But sometimes problems are way out of our hands and we need to get somebody else involved who can make the situation better. (p.s. The bully never has to know you were the one who got an adult involved and so you don't have to worry about being targeted next.)

I understand it is very daunting to stand beside the victim instead of behind the bully. But think about it: Wouldn't you want somebody to do the same for you?

It is important that adults help us with stopping bullying, but we also need to take some responsibility ourselves! It doesn't even matter if the victim isn't your best friend in the world. As I say in every single school I speak in, "You don't have to like every single person, but you do need to respect them."