What If We Don't Get Along?

Teachers want to get along with you and enjoy seeing you learn. But teachers and students sometimes have personality clashes, which can happen between any two people.

If you show your teacher that you want to make the situation better, he or she will probably do everything possible to make that happen. By handling a problem like this, you learn something about how to get along with people who are different from you.

Take these steps if the problem seems tough to solve:

1. Talk to an adult you trust, such as a parent, guidance counselor, or both.
2. Give it time. You may not feel immediately comfortable with your teacher, but that may change as you get to know one another.
3. If you've given it time, talk with your parents about what to do next. Lots of times, a meeting can be set up to discuss the problem. This may clear the air and make things better. Everyone's goal should be to create trust and kindness.

Your relationship with a teacher is often your first chance to develop a "business relationship." Just like your parents have business relationships with the people they work with or the people who deliver the mail to your house, kids also can have these kinds of relationships. They are different from your family relationships and friendships, which are built on affection and love.

In a business relationship, both parties get something out of the relationship, but don't necessarily need to be good friends or like each other a lot. They simply need to respect one another, be polite, and stay focused on the job at hand. In other words, they need to "get down to business."

When you act this way, and remember that you're not the only kid in the class, you are helping your teacher. Your teacher is likely to notice this and appreciate it.

Teachers also like it when students follow directions and when they learn and obey the rules of the classroom. For instance, there may be rules about listening when another student is talking, or about taking turns, or about raising your hand when you want to say something or ask a question.